After spending almost a week in the hospital, I've come out of it more lost then ever. I've lost everything I can think of. I know people have it worse then me, but at this point I feel like I have nothing, and in the end you are nothing by my opinion.
I've lost friends over this, but they weren't my friends to begin with if they can't talk to me like a normal human being.
Most of all, and most important, I've lost myself. Somewhere along this 21 year road I've lost me, it's hard as fuck (pardon my french) to wake up in the morning. I'm taking my medication but it's still not helping. I feel like the world is going to crush me at times.
I don't talk to anyone about it because frankly whenever I call someone that says I should call them when I'm feeling down, well they aren't there. I don't know maybe I'm asking too much. I know at the end of the day I only have myself, but I just don't know where to go from here.
I cry in the middle of the night, because my apartment is empty. I get angry more now. What's going on with me? I can't end up back in the hospital it will only make it worse. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore, and it scares the living day lights out of me.
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